Stage Holdup

Posted on 4/18/2009 at 4:39:55 PM

It had been a peaceful spell in town, nothing stirring since last fall. Everyone was hopin’ that the Seth Wright Gang had been run off for good. Town folk and local law had gotten a bit complacent so no one took note of the the gang ridin’ into town. They’d holed up someplace over the winter and hit the trail into Medicine Park lookin’ to increase their depleted stores of loot.

Arrivin’ just ahead of the noon stage they were greeted by pair of floozies. As the stage rounded the corner Rattlesnake stepped out and let go with a shotgun causin’ the driver to pull up short. The blast startled everyone back to realizing the Seth Gang was still raisin’ Cain. Rattlesnake was told keep an eye on driver so he couldn’t escape with the stage. Passengers were forced to disembarked and line up along the stagecoach. Rattlesnake herded the driver out behind the stage, but as always his itchy trigger finger caused his six-gun to bark. As Rattlesnake stepped out from behind the stage Slim ask what happened. To which Rattlesnake replied; “Shot him.” “Well,” Slim said, “I guess they don’t have any plans now.”

Little Britches noted the passengers looked like a good bunch for “nice donation”, all lined up fer a purse pluckin’. Slim had a bag for the loot, but as he went to use it it turned out a rattlesnake was hiding in it. Slim discarded the rattler at a passenger just to scare ‘em.

Madam Olga Seesall, local gypsy, rushed in and grabbed up the snake like the missing card needed for fillin’ an inside straight. Turns out it was Wilber, her pet. With Wilber wrapped securely around her neck she proceeded to read the fortunes of the passengers. Slim ask to have his fortune read too. His was more of a misfortune then fortune. The Gypsy lighten Slim’s load of valuables with one hand while dealing out his fortune with the other. She did rightly predict there was trouble just around the corner for the Seth Gang, and it was a comin’ RIGHT NOW! No sooner had she uttered those words then the law arrived.

Marshal Payne dealt the law in with a round from his Colts .45. He figured they had the Gang beat; “Caught ‘em red handed robbin’ the stage.” But Little Britches weren’t ready to fold her hand and replied; “There weren’t no Lawman big enough to arrest her. And if there was she and the gang could just get one of those government bail-outs.” Which seem to only go the crooks.

While the law argued over whether or not they’d still get the reward if they just shot ‘em, Slim raised the stakes by grabbing a hostage. Little Britches said; “How come Slim always gets a hostage. I’m gonna get me one too.” With the outlaws holdin’ a pair of hostages the situation degenerated into a standoff.

Odie wanted to shoot them all and sort it out later; the Marshal didn’t want to waste bullets on hostages ’cause there was no reward on them. As the law disputed the finer points of remaining somewhat legal, Olga ask the crowd to vote on whether or not it was okay to shoot the hostages. She ask them to text message from a cellphone (whatever that was) which made us a wonder what she was drinking to come up with that idea. Turned out it was her fortune telling skills seeing to far into the future. So she ask for a show of hands.

The vote count was in dispute like everything else. The Marshal pulled out the warrant to see if there were anything about not shootin’ hostages. It just said; “SHOOT ‘EM.” There were some fine print at the bottom, but nothing about hostages. It did say the law could arrest any known member of the Seth Gang, and if they tried to resist shoot ‘em. There was a $200 reward on any any member, and an Oklahoma special this month only of any two members of your choice for $500.

With no restraints in the warrant, Odie called with; “Shoot ‘em.” Rattlesnake upped the ante by askin’; “What if them hostages are some big shot like the governor, or kin to him?” That law back off a bit with this idea, thinking they might end up with a dead or alive reward on them. But they figured they could cover the bet by blaming the killin’ on the Seth Gang and the reward would be bigger.

With their eye on Slim and Little Britches holding the two hostages, the law didn’t notice the rest of the gang steppin’ back from the game. They figured it was time to fold ‘em and haul freight out a town. Seth cut loose with his six-shooter at the law distracting them while Slim and Little Britches discarded the hostages passin’ them to the enchanting Miss Goodbody. The outlaws skedaddled with the law in hot pursuit. Colts .45s filled the air with gun smoke. Doc Holyday was minorly grazed about the time both sides ran out of bullets. Town budgets bein’ in sorrowful straits allocated jist six bullets per peace officer. So once again the Seth Gang got away to ride and terrorize Medicine Park another day.

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